Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
