Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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