yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
