at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
