u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
