White coat. Heels.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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