My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
