Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
