Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
