Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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