drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
