just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
