Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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