I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
