You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
