she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
