I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
