i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
