I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
