I am in a vortex of obligation.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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