is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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