no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
