your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
