You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
