Tell her she can't have a vagina
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
