yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
