I'm eating all of the evidence.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
