I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
