If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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