I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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