Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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