If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
