I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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