New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Come share oat with me in your robe
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
