I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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