I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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