Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
