he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
