I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
