I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
