He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
