She said her name was "party"
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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