How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
