Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
