I feel great
I just peed on a car
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just want nice things and good sex
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
