This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
