What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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