he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
