THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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