A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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